Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
