Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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