I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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