new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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