my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
