wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize