Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
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