oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
