i just wanna soil my oats bro
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
