Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
