We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize