I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
