Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.

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  (717): please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are. http://tfl.nu/a3si
  Replies (10) Good night (1477) Bad night (3879)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"

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  (225): I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed" http://tfl.nu/96g5
  Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (3632)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.

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  (208): why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never. http://tfl.nu/g58g
  Replies (27) Good night (9113) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex

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  (317): i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex http://tfl.nu/eh60
  Replies (16) Good night (5746) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink

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  (305): he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink http://tfl.nu/w0ij
  Replies (12) Good night (7358) Bad night (1286)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".

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  (812): We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells". http://tfl.nu/8dsx
  Replies (8) Good night (4416) Bad night (1071)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"

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  (401): You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car" http://tfl.nu/0yb1
  Replies (7) Good night (2565) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could

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  (61): I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could http://tfl.nu/jvk9
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (2593)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.

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  (985): Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me. http://tfl.nu/35pb
  Replies (6) Good night (1628) Bad night (737)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..

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  (+61): i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history.. http://tfl.nu/iskw
  Replies (9) Good night (2275) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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  (207): when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance http://tfl.nu/dir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1615) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Stop watching porn on my work computer.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.

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  (314): Stop watching porn on my work computer. (1-314): STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER. http://tfl.nu/jsny
  Replies (3) Good night (1823) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"

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  (919): You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs" http://tfl.nu/7e2r
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...

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  (860): I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks... http://tfl.nu/cacu
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?

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  (618): Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!? http://tfl.nu/wury
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (161)

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