Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked' http://tfl.nu/xvcv
  Replies (39) Good night (732) Bad night (6772)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance.. http://tfl.nu/o07j
  Replies (9) Good night (4568) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair http://tfl.nu/ktbm
  Replies (10) Good night (894) Bad night (8074)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch. http://tfl.nu/jvw8
  Replies (22) Good night (1046) Bad night (7997)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again. http://tfl.nu/goom
  Replies (6) Good night (3204) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples http://tfl.nu/ak9g
  Replies (4) Good night (2486) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done. http://tfl.nu/5j5b
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless. http://tfl.nu/zvko
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole http://tfl.nu/hdrj
  Replies (7) Good night (2065) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
  Replies (1) Good night (967) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex http://tfl.nu/b8jn
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1300) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/qqo1
  Replies (8) Good night (433) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance. http://tfl.nu/khcw
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (918): I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder http://tfl.nu/ny3a
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (283)

Randomize