we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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