so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.