i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?