Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
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This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah