Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.

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  (604): I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks. http://tfl.nu/kxma
  Replies (34) Good night (2320) Bad night (2714)
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  (310): View more from California

  Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.

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  (310): Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1. http://tfl.nu/ep6p
  Replies (14) Good night (4335) Bad night (576)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...

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  (302): and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare... http://tfl.nu/t5mw
  Replies (21) Good night (532) Bad night (3696)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".

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  (720): He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost". http://tfl.nu/8ltm
  Replies (39) Good night (8115) Bad night (713)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.

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  (248): i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college. http://tfl.nu/wwi7
  Replies (29) Good night (1200) Bad night (4239)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22472) Bad night (1343)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again

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  (703): Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again http://tfl.nu/33pv
  Replies (3) Good night (1682) Bad night (2638)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.

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  (312): My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger. http://tfl.nu/m23s
  Replies (10) Good night (837) Bad night (4813)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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  (201): She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza. http://tfl.nu/d9wz
  Replies (20) Good night (2956) Bad night (921)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Glad to hear you raised your standards

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  (720): Not even desperate vagina wants small cock. (303): Glad to hear you raised your standards http://tfl.nu/lulg
  Replies (8) Good night (2921) Bad night (820)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone

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  (630): At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone http://tfl.nu/tam4
  Replies (4) Good night (1121) Bad night (943)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao

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  (423): On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao http://tfl.nu/dkfy
  Replies (9) Good night (1428) Bad night (708)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet

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  (208): Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet http://tfl.nu/73eb
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (787)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it

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  (202): All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it http://tfl.nu/syvy
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (252)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can't find our DD

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.

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  (919): Can't find our DD (1-919): He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door. http://tfl.nu/0qwm
  Replies (4) Good night (1075) Bad night (217)

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