There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"