Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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(202): dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay http://tfl.nu/5gp7

Replies (9) Good night (1522) Bad night (2752)
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(315): View more from New York

i think i just puked on my phone

(1-315): View more from New York

we live great lives

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(315): i think i just puked on my phone (1-315): we live great lives http://tfl.nu/f3zx

Replies (10) Good night (2051) Bad night (918)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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(402): who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar... http://tfl.nu/yz5c

Replies (51) Good night (1222) Bad night (5607)
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(714): View more from California

so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

(1-714): View more from California

i'm so jealous of you right now.

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(714): so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;) (1-714): i'm so jealous of you right now. http://tfl.nu/egrq

Replies (57) Good night (9158) Bad night (1690)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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(202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0

Replies (14) Good night (1626) Bad night (5672)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

You should've just screamed yes we can!

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(270): Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad. (1-270): You should've just screamed yes we can! http://tfl.nu/ng19

Replies (52) Good night (9227) Bad night (1782)
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(904): View more from Florida

He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.

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(904): He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college. http://tfl.nu/3hcf

Replies (19) Good night (2694) Bad night (6201)
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(540): View more from Virginia

3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

(540): View more from Virginia

and skipped dinner

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(540): 3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently (540): and skipped dinner http://tfl.nu/igda

Replies (22) Good night (1264) Bad night (4679)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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(678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7

Replies (3) Good night (3020) Bad night (894)
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(561): View more from Florida

No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south

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(561): No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south http://tfl.nu/5xop

Replies (4) Good night (2656) Bad night (849)
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(819): View more from Quebec

there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive

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(819): there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive http://tfl.nu/f5fj

Replies (3) Good night (2768) Bad night (898)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.

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(843): I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are. http://tfl.nu/lq46

Replies (4) Good night (2307) Bad night (822)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...

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(617): you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet... http://tfl.nu/1uxq

Replies (2) Good night (439) Bad night (932)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid

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(401): I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid http://tfl.nu/h4z6

Replies (5) Good night (690) Bad night (314)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.

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(702): Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional. http://tfl.nu/j7mu

Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (599)

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