is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Randomize
