Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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