It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
