just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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