I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
