With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
