Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I am midnight drunk by noon
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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