check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
