remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
