At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
