come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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