I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
