Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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