i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
