i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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