Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
