VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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