Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
