Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
