WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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