Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
