Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
