i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Randomize
