you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
