you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
