toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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