can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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