Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
