let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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