I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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