Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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