Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
