why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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