like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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