In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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