Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
