Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This baby is an asshole
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
