I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
birth control should be required to get into college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
