i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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