I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
