Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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