I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
