Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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