dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
