these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
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