On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
