You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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