Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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