All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
