we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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