i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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