Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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