dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
